adjective Of or relating to the place where one lives: "your home address"
adverb: To the place where one lives: 'What time did you get home last night?
verb (of animal) return by instinct - homing
Simple concept, I am sure most people don't have to think about it that much.
Why this topic, well I was watching a movie last night 'Something Borrowed'. It was a chick flick, it's Summertime and hot and there was nothing else on.
The Ethan character was an also ran to the main female lead. He had the hots for her. He claimed he was gay to keep other women away from him. In his flat in London he finally comes clean to the lead female. She is there as her love interest is about to get married to her best friend.
The Ethan guy professes his love for her. He says, and I identified with this part, he feels like he is home when he is with her.
I knew what he was talking about and it isn't one of the definitions of home. When you are friends with a person long enough you get comfortable around them. Sometimes they could be friends with benefits (the movie from the night before). But you have a relationship. Most of these stay static, that os they never progress to a different form of relationship. I may have male friends that I would like to have a relationship with, but that isn't going to happen. Sometimes you have a friend who hangs out with you in hoes that you will get comfortable enough and accept them as a lover.
I did have a friend like this. We hung out for a long time, we had some things in common and some things not in common. He hated kids. I had joint custody of my son, which meant I had him every week for 3 days. He told me more than once about the kid issue, it was kind of major to him.
We had friends in common and hung out a lot. We'd play pool on Sunday afternoons and go to movies. Sounds like dating, eh.
After a couple of years, I am really slow and was not picking up what he was putting down, he hit on me. I was the designated driver and he got really drunk. We had sex, about half way through. I sort of put the brake pedal on . About a month later I was in Pakistan, when I came back, he didn't want to hang out anymore. The last time I saw this guy was about a month after my return from Pakistan. A friend finally confessed he had been hot after me for a couple of years. We were comfortable together, but there was no home.
My ex-wife and I dated for several years and it was comfortable. We did things together and had fun. After awhile I decided that nothing is happening on the gay front, and I wasn't even participating in it. There is a whole other blog on this. It felt comfortable and I figured, hey, if I am going to be with a woman, she's it. It felt like home to me.
A couple of weeks ago someone posted a youtube video with cuts from gay movies, boy gets boy. They assembled it and put Chantal Kreviazuk's song 'Feels Like Home to Me' as the soundtrack. It really is beautiful, and Beautiful Thing is one of the movies they snipped from.
The Home concept in the gay world is tough. First off, the opportunities to meet a guy and hang out with him for a long time and then make the switch are few and far between, This is definitely something the straight world has mastered. This is something the gay world has to work on. Sure there is infatuation, but then again, there is our crippled upbringing, where we couldn't do the things the straight guys could do. There was the whole Gay thing and being different and accepting it yourself. By the time you did that, High School was over. A lot of men meet their long term boyfriends in college. This is a far more accepting environment and a lot of people were away from home, so they had a chance to normalize. I am not saying the coming out process was any easier, in fact it may have been worse. But, someone had your back.
A line in Chantal's song ' Well if you knew how much this moment means to me, and how long I've waited for your touch and if you knew how happy you are making me, I never I'd love anyone so much...It feels like home to me.'
I never really put my mind to this before and even writing this I am looking at a Talking Heads song completely differently 'Home is where I want to be, pick me up and turn me round'
That says it all, that is what I am looking for. And once you have found it, do your best to hold on to it.
The picture, it is from a magazine I found at a coffee shop. It is an ad for a barber shop off Whyte Avenue in Edmonton. The picture looks really cool, I could hang out there. I have the prerequisites, a bike and I look good in 50's clothes. Anyway, I had never known there was an Art Deco building in that neighbourhood. So I rode my bike over to see it. I figured it was going to be tall and spectacular. A little known neighbourhood was being revitalized.
I didn't take a picture, I was underwhelmed. It is an unintentional strip mall from the 50's or 60's all the building are different, not in a good way. They look like they are about to fall over. The parking lot is all torn up. The background coffee drinkers are not at a Starbucks or anything like that, it is a Korean grocery store. The place is totally unremarkable. Damn!!!
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