When I got back from the city, I went to the bar out the back door (there is one out the front door too). I went in for the proverbial 'one'. My friend Terry was there, Terry is a painter and hilarious. He is a Jets fan, who is happy as there is a team in Winnipeg again. Sitting with Terry was another guy, Darryl.
One beer lead to another. After two I told the bartender I had to stop as I was going to drive back to the city, in the car. I went to the bar after coming from city on the bike. I was a bit cool, not frozen, but I had to warm up.
Anyway, Terry was getting drunker and and drunker, he doesn't come to the bar that often, but this is what happens.I was going to go to the city to hang out with my friend Robert and go to Woody's 10th anniversary party. I really intended to go as I was supposed to work overtime on Sunday, so I knew I couldn't go out too late on St Patrick's Day.
About halfway through the second beer the owner of bar came in, bought a round. I said sure. Then another couple of guys came in and more beer. It was only 9 pm, but it appeared I would have to sober up for a long time for an hour long drive. Robert had not texted back. I said screw it, why go to city for a party when there was one going on here - and I could crawl home.
I think I have said I have no gaydar, the supposed ability of gay men to find other gay men in a social situation. I just don't have it. I can spot a lesbian at 200 yards, but not a gay man. Well, I can spot the really obvious ones. You don't need gaydar.
So anyway, I wasn't speaking loud or trying anyway to bring attention to myself. I was wearing a Buffalo Fire Department sweatshirt and chaps over my jeans. I just got off bike, parked it in garage and walked to the bar. Terry came from work, he is a painter. You can guess how he was dressed. It takes a village, people.
But I digress. A guy further down the bar from Terry caught my eye. He was sitting with another guy and they were talking and watching hockey. I started to notice over the period of time that he would stare over at us, me in particular. Maybe it was my attire. I thought it was wishful thinking, but he continued to do it openly after several other guys joined him. Guys from the local hockey team. I made eye contact a couple of times, it was intense. Nothing further happened, but its a small town. I am wracking my brain trying to figure out where I know him from.
After awhile everyone started to leave and I was there by myself, I order a beer just before they all left. I spoke to Sandy, the bartender while I finished my beer and then left.
It was early, I went home, changed and then went to the bar out the front door. It was a friend's birthday and we proceeded to get smashed.
Yesterday was pretty quiet as I had a hangover. Not a major one, I just didn't feel like doing anything. I watched some TV and then a movie on Netflicks. I went to bed around 10:30 as I was going to work overtime today.
This morning I got up, made coffee and sometime before 8 I decided I wasn't working overtime. I did some Sunday morning reading. Made a comment on an Agnostic's site. I am not religious, I believe there is a God an many ways to get to God. I don't believe anyway is the right way. The rule of entropy applies though, the simpler that better (or less wasteful). Geez, Less Wasteful is deep.
The Agnostic persons was discussing good and evil and relating it to more than humans. A friend Bernard, who is one of the smartest people I have ever encountered made a comment. Following up on his parameters, I commented that inhabitants on the Earth, other than humans, rely on instinct more than good and bad (evil). They just do.
Further bouncing around, a friend Scott, shared an article on a jock named Scott, from the Ottawa area. I went to school there. Scott is a jock, who is now out to everyone. This was a long process and it is detailed in the article
Scott made a lot of Youtube videos, I am going to share two. The first one deals with a subject that many gay men and women face. The realization that it is not a choice, being gay just is. Scott tried to change it, as did I. That leads to denying yourself - which is bad, or evil.
I am linking this video as it made me cry. This kid said exactly how I felt when i realized it wasn't a choice. I actually remember lying on a bed trying to will myself to death. When that wasn't working, I was going to the kitchen.....
http://youtu.be/08pK-YQYmEw
The news media have been reporting the number of gay kids that are committing suicide in the US and Canada. In some cases the kids were out to their families and friends. They just could not accept the hand that was dealt. One guy Tyler Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge near Rutgers, New Jersey. The events leading up to that tragedy were detailed in the court case which involved his room mate. Dharun Ravi verdict in Clementi suicide.
The Republican Party in the United states are trying to chose a new candidate to run against President Obama in November. One of the candidates has started to campaign on social issues, as it appears he has hit a nerve with some people. I am not sure what it is with the Republican Party, they pride themselves on the individual and small government. Less interference in people's lives. Pierre Elliot Trudeau in Canada said 'There is no place for the state in the nation's bedrooms.' Although Mr. Trudeau was a Liberal, I would think that Republicans would have no problem with that statement. Except Rick Santorum. He wants an * on this. There are times when the state should be in the nation's bedrooms, especially the gay bedrooms. He is running on hate, Scott in his video nails it. It doesn't matter how much we come out, we will never feel comfortable holding hands in public, kissing or any public display of affection.
Anyway, as an Immigration Officer and a Firefighter, I Support You to be the best you, you can be.
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