Out, out damned cat

We were called to a residence on the South side of town. An elderly lady' cat was stuck in a tree, she had called 911. We arrived on scene,  the lady was standing there in pink fluffy bedroom slippers, a house coat (with pyrogies and kobassa designs on it) (like paisley), her hair was in curlers. She had a moustache. It wasn't a real moustache, like a guys, it was the old Ukrainian baba stache.


She pointed up to the tree, 'My Pussy, my Pussy' she cried and pointed up. The crew got the ladder off of Engine 1 and placed it against the tree - rock, paper scissors to see who got to rescue the cat. I lost. I climbed the tree and I was really close to 'Pussy' she, it had to be a she, didn't like me trying to grab her, so she scratched my face. I tuffed it out and grabbed the bitch with my fire gloves, they are thick and lined.I was impervious to her claws. I got the damned cat out of the tree.


After I reached the ground I turned to give Pussy back to her owner, the old lady screamed! "Look what you did to her claws." she wondered off petting her Pussy and going there, there. 


It was better than the last time, she tried to kiss the fireman with her big red coated lips. She puckered up, 15 feet away and came at him. He was traumatised. 


 Morale of the story, next time on SCBA to prevent the claws marking the face. If pussy was scared of a fireman, she'll be terrified of someone breathing like Darth Vader.


A girl at work was going Ewww Ewwww when I told here the real story, so I improvised. the truth is, a Gillette razor had a blade break free, it was slashing me as I was shaving.